Category Archives: Cal Coast News

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Boycott Spencer’s Market

Spencer’s Market continues to heavily support Karen Velie with paid advertising on her website.

Cal Coast News & Cal Coast Times are not legitimate news sources. It’s an online rag sheet that sensationalizes.

Please stand against Yellow Journalism. Boycott Spencer’s Fresh Markets. There are plenty of suitable alternatives in SLO County.

Stop Writing About Me

unforgiven

November 11th was like most days for me. Late afternoon and I needed a break from the home office before I started dinner for the kids. I walked to the Santa Margarita Tavern and sat down in front of a beer.

A couple walks in. I recognize the guy as a fellow Little League parent from Douglas’s baseball team. We say hi to each other as they sat down at a table in the back corner.

A  few minutes later I turned around and looked over. I recognize the women sitting with him.

It was Karen Velie.

They were engrossed in discussion over a document, reviewing it page-by-page. I wanted to talk to Karen, but I didn’t want to interrupt their business. After 10 minutes, when it appeared they were done, I approached their table.

(In the interest of privacy, the guy’s identity is changed to John.)

Me: John, can you excuse us for a few minutes as I would like to talk with Karen.

Karen: I don’t want to talk to you.

Me: All I ask is a few minutes of your time Karen.

Karen: I don’t want to talk to you. Stop writing about me.

John: Kenny, I don’t want to get in the middle of this.

Me: John, that’s why I asked you to excuse yourself. So that you’re not involved in this.

Karen: Stop writing about me.

John: Do you want me to call the Sheriff?

Me: John, have I committed a crime?

John (pulling his cell phone out): Do you want me to call the Sheriff? Do you want to talk to them?

Me: Karen, why haven’t you called me back? You promised you would?

Karen: Stop writing about me.

With that said, I excused myself, left the establishment and walked home.

An Open Letter to Karen Velie

Courtesy of The Rock

Authored by Paul Embry

I ask you to remember the story of Solomon and the two women who claimed to be the mother of one baby. Solomon suggested that they cut the baby in half, so that the women could split the benefit the baby brought. Only one of the women was satisfied with this arrangement and she, of course, was plainly not the actual mother because she thought of her own well-being before that of the child.

You must look to the children here, and only to the children.

It is they who are being harmed by the separation from their family, whether the removal was justified or not. The usurpation of the situation for leverage in your County /CAPSLO mud-feud is just another slimy stone on the sickening road you and your enemies have built. You are all responsible for the condition of the children at the moment, and instead of thinking of them you and your selfish, self-absorbed group have elected to take your troubles to the streets. Those of us who are not committed to either side ache only for these kids. Those of us who are familiar with CWS are astounded with your hubris, and wonder why, when the CWS nosed into OUR lives – justly or otherwise – it wasn’t news. No amount of bully pulpit invective, whether published on a blog masquerading as a newspaper or broadcast countywide on the local Winchell’s AM Radio segment, is going to help the kids. Claims of conspiracy or collusion will keep your name on people’s lips even as depression and lactose ruin the kids. Smearing your enemies (without substantiation) amid this personal debacle serves only your historic agenda, and tells the world that you have priority issues while these three children go dirty and disheveled to school and reap derision and bullying from their classmates.

Bringing this mess before the general public creates sympathy for you and the kids, yes, but the least amount of forethought from the viewpoint of the children would’ve made you consider that you’ve just given motivation and ammunition to those schoolmates who are teasing and bullying them. Your self-serving nature has outed you and you should be ashamed.

For the sake of your grandchildren I will offer you some advice, but first I will tell you why I think I’m qualified to do so.

The existence of my daughter was announced to me by a CWS social worker, who also informed me that they had taken the child from her mother at birth. For the better part of a year I lived the action plans, classes, unwarranted drug testing, surprise inspections of my home, and all manner of inconvenience and indignity – all because I had committed, in the legalese of the machine, a “failure to protect” the child from the abuses of the mother. Never mind that Roe v. Wade says that what someone does with the baby inside them is nobody’s business; never mind that I had no documented drug or alcohol problem; never mind the lies lawyers and social workers told me. Never mind anything.

They had my child and they had all the power in the world.

I had no news outlet from which to raise the hue and cry; Dave Congalton did not postpone his gallstone surgery to lend me an hour and a half of his soapbox time. Additionally, I worked nights in a bar and lived in a rented room. My life was not adapted to the addition of a baby, and it was all common knowledge to the people at Social Services.

Eight months later, I was given a knowing nod from the judge who had just ordered my child into my custody and CWS out of my life. That nod said to me that she respected my handling of a terrible, terrible situation. I made sure that everyone in the courtroom heard me tell my one-year-old daughter that I don’t intend to buy her another “courtroom dress” until after she has passed the bar. I’m also certain that I’m a better father because of the things I learned complying with my action plan than I would’ve been without having done so.

I’m not saying this to aggrandize myself. I’m telling you why you should listen to me. Further, I have no love of CWS, CAPSLO, lawyers in general, or politicians in totality. If I have a bias in this whatsoever, it is the disdain I have for the blank spot where your blog’s ethics should be, and the fact that I think you must have been sick the day they taught journalism at journalism school.

To begin: I am personally acquainted with a grandmother who just last year was deemed unfit for placement on the grounds of a DUI conviction that had been adjudicated over a decade ago. So it is something that is done. It may or may not be a matter of policy, but it is certainly a matter which enjoys precedent, and thereby cannot be something “cooked-up” to be used solely against you. To claim otherwise is to convolute the process and harm the children.

You may truly believe that they are holding your job against you, but I suggest it is the way in which you do your job that rankles. Perhaps not the crusade itself, precisely, but possibly the fact that you’ve gone crazy, shining the light of the free press on all of the few detractors and left in darkness any who honestly praise and thank CAPSLO. It makes you look self-serving and – if not dishonest – ignorant of the tenets of your profession.

You may truly believe that the mention of the word “attorney” to your grandchild is the reason that your personal contact with them has been suspended, but I suggest it is the introduction of complex concepts and mature matters to young minds that are already distressed.

Confusion is not going to calm anyone, nor is confrontationalism. You should have been explaining to the kids that everything was going to be okay; that they should make the best of a bad situation in the knowledge that the situation won’t last forever. I’m betting that keeping your children up to speed on the hiring or firing of legal staff is not a policy invented just for you. Perhaps it promotes an adversarial feeling between the children and the temporary caregivers. Fool.

When you take to the airwaves and say “I just want to know how they can do this,” you’re not serving anyone’s needs. The switchboard will light up, and the craziness begins. Anyone at social services who might have been moved by sympathy for your kids will be too busy manning the siege engines to do anything else. A real reporter who had a similar question might check the Welfare and Institutions laws that regulate such bodies, as well as the civil, criminal and family codes which pertain to the removal of children and the processes thereafter. Such research, done in time, would’ve enabled your daughter to get her story before the judge in counterpoint to the claims against her; clued you all in to the subtleties of language used by social workers and lawyers and entitled you to any advantage such understanding may provide; removed the mystery surrounding the machinations and protocols of the CWS/Court experience; and provided insight into the rules and guidelines which apply to CWS caseworkers and foster-parents.

This way you could’ve fought wisely. Crowing willy-nilly about perfectly legal “injustices” you’ve suffered doesn’t help you reunite with the children; it merely illustrates that you neglected to fact check before speaking publicly.

You must realize that the Social Worker assigned to your case has great leeway in what she may permit or deny, and that it is his or her recommendations that carry the most weight with the judge. That is because the caseworker is employed to see beyond lie and performance in order to require (by way of the action plan) those things that are genuinely needed by the family – not only for reunification, but also for permanent resolution. It is their job to detect and ignore nonsense; they are the judge’s eyes and ears in your world. Everything they permit or deny must be justifiable and defensible, and if they have a reason to dislike you it’s because you gave them one.

Remember that this agency exists to deal primarily with the worst kind of people, people who will go to great lengths to conceal truths about themselves and their living situations. The caseworker who is not skeptical of everything is either new or not a very good one. If you’re going to allow your cronies to spill her name to the public and make all kinds of specious and scurrilous accusations against her, don’t be surprised when she tells the judge that you seem to be more willing to fight the process than to take the necessary steps for reunification. Don’t be surprised when the judge believes her, especially if she heard it with her own ears along with the rest of us.

You may also believe that your daughter failed her action plan because she couldn’t leave work for a doctor’s appointment, and that could indeed bear some part in it. It’s entirely more likely that some conversation surrounding the missed appointment reflected a continuing oppositional attitude toward the process. Nobody at CWS is going to tell the judge that the circumstances, which led the children into state custody, are changing (or are likely to change) when the principals are participating only grudgingly and seem still inclined to resistance.

These people have already determined that change is necessary in the home. The best thing you can do is maintain an earnest demeanor and ardently comply with their requirements. The caseworker is required to help in any number of ways once you turn the corner and embrace the reunification plan, but most people never figure that out. They, like you, would rather fight the system, inflate themselves, and leave the kids twisting in the wind.

Get a clue, lady, and help your daughter get her kids back. Foster care that is good is very good, and foster care that is bad is often incurable. I encourage you to forget all the craziness you’ve filled your life with and dedicate your time and intentions to your daughter and her re-unification plan. If you’ve a shred of humanity, you should already loathe yourself for the ways you’ve both marginalized and exacerbated the plight of your grandkids and hijacked sympathies intended for them to feed your own demons. Atone.

And the guy on the radio who offered the gift cards who you blew off? He was trying to eliminate any excuse a foster may have for forcing cow’s milk on the child. If the alternative to milk were free, what objection could be raised? He could drop those gift cards off at any social services office with the name of the child and a bit of written explanation and the issue of lactose intolerance would be solved. That this escaped you is representative of the situation as a whole.

Selfish, selfish woman.

Get off your high-horse and urge your daughter to comply. Gleefully. While she’s at it, she could try to get something out of the classes and counseling and therapy. It wouldn’t be such a crime to bring the kids back into a better home than the one they left, would it?

(Unforgiven Pt. 2)

unforgiven-pt-2

Three years ago I discovered my wife, the mother of my three wonderful children, dead in the shower. The whole thing was a mess. Somehow I made peace with the death of my ill wife. Friends and family tell me I handled it with grace. My children have exceeded my expectations and are thriving. Alexandra is a wonderful soulmate. I am in a good place.

There are a handful of people who did all things possible to make her death difficult for any decent human being to handle with decency and dignity. They went above and beyond their way to write comments that were so vile, so untrue and shockingly disgusting. Their comments were posted anonymously. That made it twice as painful for me. Who were these people. Did I know any of them? Why didn’t they talk to me instead of stabbing me in the back. What did I do to deserve their hate? What if these anonymous cowards had regular contact with my children. What if it was someone that I considered a friend? Could I could trust anyone? After reading this?:

ANONYMOUS COMMENTS FROM SLOTRIBUNE.COM

Posted by stoptheinsanity

Feb 24, 2012 – 1:36 PM

A word of caution, SLO Kenny. Anyone caught up in the circumstances that you experienced, needs to practice anger management or you’re going to find Child Protective Services on your doorstep.

Feb 24, 2012 – 2:06 PM

A word to the wise, SLO Kenny.  For someone caught up in your circumstances, you need to practice anger management. You are not a victim of CCN. No one will ever consider you a victim. Get over it and provide a nice life for your kids.

Posted by fedup

Feb 24, 2012 – 8:50 AM

Crawl back under your rock in Santa Margarita, Ken. You don’t already have enough enemies after what happened almost 2 years ago?

ANONYMOUS COMMENTS FROM CALCOASNEWS.COM

Posted by Chris Volbrecht aka as sportmom

June 19, 2010 – 4:17 PM

No disrespect Easymoney because I do feel for this family, especially the children.

However you are painting a slanted picture here- the investigation is still ongoing, while the coroner released the Body and has been flown back to Ohio for funeral services, this case is far from over and those kids are not safe if they return to the area with their father.

The coroner only released the body because he was done with his part and only a few causes have been completely ruled out at this point. Toxicology is not complete nor are other tests. I do not want to believe he did it, but the thought is still in the back of my mind.

If you do know them like you say you do- then this is a known fact to you. Most of us while greiving(sic) over the loss of our dear friend, fear for those kids even if the father is found to have nothing to do with this.

His mental problems and verbal abuse alone have those children terrified of him.

My prayers go out to them, but we as Janet’s friends must step forward and do what we can to protect those children. Many of us have given statements to the police about what we have been told by Janet or have witnessed, so any of you out there that have knowledge about this- I urge your to report it to the lead investigator on this case. He already has many letters and statements so you will not be alone in your testimony nor will you have to fear that “he” will find out what you said and why.

Please do the right thing for these kids…please!

July 1, 2010 – 9:39 AM

Sorry you feel this way. Anyone who knows Janet will know these facts- this is not a secret or insider knowledge. I did not state here what any of us discussed with the police- not sure where you got that from?

I am merely making a plea for the childrens(sic) safety in this very sad and dangerous situation! The more of us who come forward – the better off the children will be- in this instance I don’t feel this is gossip for a blog- it is real and the children need to be protected from their father whether or not he did anything to Janet- if you knew what some of us know you would be reaching out in every way possible.

July 2, 2010 – 12:50 PM

I did step into help many times- I will protect the kids from Ken anyway I can- her letters and texts and emails are all turned into the detectives now. If you all were Janet’s friends you would know this and know that verbal abuse is just as bad- if not worse than physical abuse which I myself and many others witnessed on numerous occaisons(sic). I will stand by every word I have written here!

Even if Ken was not the cause of Janets(sic) death- the kids are in danger of returning to California with their father. Janet was running away for more than one reason. I adored her and her children and would never do anything to harm them- I suggest you all do the same and protect them.

July 30, 2010 – 1:40 PM

fattynskinny I am not sure where this information came from regarding the children only with their grandparents for a total of 3 hours since coming to Ohio? They have been with grandparents and other relatives most of the time they have spent there time in Ohio, and not with the father! I can assure you that what PaulJones states above is more accurate than what you have heard.

Posted by Karen Velie aka as pauljones

June 17, 2010 – 10:07 PM

I’ve got to wonder who or what easymoney is really trying to protect?

June 18, 2010 – 9:35 AM

I noticed that a concerned neighbor stopped by to let us know that you are down playing the facts and that you’re also playing the roll of a self appointed hallway monitor. This appears to be something that is a concern to some people who are neighbors. This situation sounds like something that frequently spilled out into the streets and wasn’t so private as you suggest.

July 23, 2010 – 3:40 PM

It’s my understanding that the McCarthy children are all currently physically safe in the arm’s of their loving grandparents in Ohio. All three children opted to continue with their original plans to travel to Ohio preceding the passing of their mother less to 2 hours prior to their scheduled departure. All 3 children had been in the home during the fight that had ensued at 4AM that morning between Kenny and Janet. It was nothing new for them. Actions speak louder than word’s. Those were the actions of the children while Kenny immediately “lawyered up”.

Just the fact folks………….

July 23, 2010 – 3:50 PM

and the toxicology testing portion, looking for the strange cause of death, continues……………

Posted by Cindy Sasur aka as cindy

June 14, 2010 – 12:37 AM

“Janet Lucille McCarthy had planned to take flight from a tumultuous marriage” This is a bit different than I read in the Tribune today. They mentioned that she had suffered from health issues but if they were talking about the fact that “McCarthy had recently won a battle against breast cancer,” I would hardly consider this a possibility as the cause of her sudden death.

“we cannot rule anything out at this point, in an abundance of caution, we have chosen to fully process the scene,” said San Luis Obispo County Sheriff Investigations Commander”

Well oh, gee, I should hope the Sheriffs Dept would fully process the scene! What the heck sort of statement is that?

The Sheriffs make the statement that ““There is some medical history with the decedent” but fails to mention a recent “tumultuous marriage” where she was on her way back to visit her parents with her children in tow, only to be found dead the morning of her departure.

June 15, 2010 – 11:58 AM

I posted the facts over at the Tribune letting people know that something here sounded very fishy. If some people didn’t like it, of well! I stand by my post and don’t believe I shouldn’t have alerted people.

June 15, 2010 – 12:00 PM

I find that doubtful. It’s a known fact that she was having troubles in her marriage and that she was on her way to Ohio with her children for a while. There is nothing here that wasn’t known to the neighbors, family and friends.

June 16, 2010 – 11:18 AM

I agree with you, the catalyst driving my post was/is the following:

“in an abundance of caution, we have chosen to fully process the scene,” said San Luis Obispo County Sheriff Investigations Commander”, I was incredulous upon seeing that statement and but for that statement would not have said anything here or over at the Tribune.

The facts behind this story carries some rather clear oddities. I, like others would prefer to wait and see what comes of an investigation particularly for the sake of the three children. I can not and will not make any apologies for having noted that this was a “high alert” case. Especially since I know someone who knew this family and I can tell you that there is far more than has been discussed or mentioned in these articles or posts.

June 16, 2010 – 3:37 PM

I suggest that go back and read my post again. This has nothing to do with what he said – she said. It’s obvious that this needed to be investigated, as well as, all deaths that occur under these circumstances. Sorry that you seem to have a problem with that. Maybe your grieving and aren’t thinking straight or can’t comprehend what you read, I don’t know but you sure seem hell bent on keeping it all hush, hush, rather than noting the nonchalant position that the Sheriff’ expressed.

Like I said, go back and read my post and by the way you “are hiding” when you post here unless your name is easymoney.

ANONYMOUS COMMENTS FROM SLOKENNY.COM

Posted by the Tomko Family aka as a_long_silent_witness

Sep 3, 2011 – 3:47 PM

How do you put this last bit of pain away? Reflect on the things you did and the things you didn’t do and then pray for forgiveness. If you happen to find someone else as wonderful as Janet to share your live with, history will repeat itself unless you learn from it.

★★★★★

Love and Hate are two sides of the same coin. Love can be intensely intoxicating, your thoughts become consumed with thoughts of that person(s). Hate behaves the same way. They are powerful emotions that if you chose to, can consume your thoughts and actions.

I cannot forgive those who have vilified me. That would take an act of love on my part. Anonymous cowards don’t deserve my love. They don’t deserve to share my thoughts of love that I have for everyone else.

Nor can allow myself to hate them for that would consume my thoughts and emotions just as love does. The way I look at it, I don’t have room in my mind for hate. I tell myself these people don’t deserve to be a part of my mind. They are not important to me.

We have only so much room in our mind for our emotions. I consciously choose to fill that space with love, with Savannah, Courtney, Douglas, Alexandra, my family and friends. This is how I am able to put this in the past.

Last year one of my fellow Tumblr bloggers gave me some advice. He wrote “Just don’t let negative people bring you down and I’m sure you and your kids will be just fine.”

Unforgiven

unforgiven

What is forgiveness? As a devout Roman Catholic in my formative years I was taught that forgiveness was necessary to heal when someone hurts you. The act of forgiveness was to lift the burden of resentment, anger and thoughts of revenge. The past couple of years have taught me otherwise.

June 13th, 2010. It was the day after my wife passed away. Karen Velie posted Questions Surround Santa Margarita Woman’s Death on her website. The article implied that I had something to do with my wife’s death.

The aftermath of the article was swift and painful. The story and some of the unmoderated comments posted contain false statements. These statements have caused great harm to my family and me. These statements were made without adequate consideration as to the truthfulness of the story/comments. It took a toll on me. I lost eighteen pounds that week.

I met with Karen Velie on March 11, 2011 at the Black Horse on Higuera. My purpose was multi-faceted: to have a retraction article published that clarified that there was no foul play in my wife’s death; to ascertain the identity of several of the slanderous posters in order to protect my children from those who had personal vendettas; to identify the positive supporters on the site so I could express my personal gratitude to those who stood up for my family, and to open back up the comments so that my supporters could defend me. (The comments were disabled soon after the coroner released the report absolving me of any foul play. What a coincidence!)

Karen was thirty minutes late for our meeting. I offered her a cup of coffee, she declined. I spent the next thirty minutes rebutting a litany of libelous, untrue accusations about me. It took my grief-wracked mind a while to realize Karen was there just to get an “incriminating” statement to run with on her site. What was weird was I was the one who initiated the meeting, only to see it descend into a fury of verbal abuse and accusations. I ended the meeting saying “we have nothing more to talk about”.

Several weeks ago Karen was arrested on a DUI charge. She ran a story on her site that cherry picked the facts and allegations on her arrest. She got called on it. First by The Rock a bastion of journalism. The City of San Luis Obispo chimed in with a Press Release rebutting Karen’s version of her arrest. The New Times published an article and a column taking down Karen Velie. I’m amused there are people who vehemently defend her in this affair. They are stupid.

That’s her mug shot above. She looks like a drunk. She doesn’t have a face for TV. She doesn’t have a pleasant voice for radio. Karen has no journalistic chops. She doesn’t make any attempt to get both sides of the story. Her entire basis for the hatchet job she did on my family was one sole disgruntled neighbor. She tried prying my friends for anything derogatory. My friends read her the riot act. She made zero attempt to get my side, violating the #1 rule of journalistic integrity. She bragged that she had “confidential sources” in the San Luis Obispo Sheriff’s department regarding the investigation into my wife’s death, a flat-out lie.

She’s in love with her self-portrayed image as a “crusader for the truth”. She’s arrogant, envious, and exploitive. She sees herself as perfect and projects shame on others.

Forgiveness is not about releasing others. You need to separate raw emotions from feelings, if you don’t the emotions will consume you. Feelings are about one’s self. Realizing your feelings clarifies everything. My feelings are me.

My emotions about her are not ambivalent. She hurt my family. That I know, and that I leave behind. I learned my feelings are about how I see the world and others and myself. My feelings allow me to separate that offensive act from my emotions, to let go of the anger. My feelings protect my precious self. My feelings bring me life.

It all boils down to this: there is no penance Karen Velie can act upon to rectify the harm she has purposely inflicted onto my family. She is a vile piece of shit. And with that, I’ll leave it there. Peace.

Putting Things Behind

putting-things-behind

I had a comment on my last posting. It went like this:

Why do you post this stuff, Kenny? There are many of us who love and care about you, but who also loved and cared about Janet, too. I understand, completely, that you were very hurt by the things she said to you, but posting your resentment for all of us to hear, well, I struggle to rationalize what would compel you to have to display it like this.

This is my blog. I write about my children. I write about philosophy and morality. I write about myself and the the hell I have gone through. Writing helps me heal. Pulling my thoughts out and putting it down on paper is my way to re-integrate my mind. It isn’t resentment or revenge.

What happened on June 12, 2010 was tragic, the worst sort of bad luck anyone could have. Calcoastnews.com took our family’s tragedy and hammered me. No, they sledgehammered me. What they did was reprehensible. They have no idea of the career they ruined, the harm they did to my family, and the struggle I have with re-building my life. The impact has lasted years and spread far.

Some people have made it nearly impossible to deal with her death with decency and dignity. They know nothing about our relationship. Janet lied about me, lied to me, lied in front of our children. She told people that I was a violent drunkard. That I was having an affair with two ladies simultaneously. That I was abusing my children. Just incredulous stuff, all untrue. Friends have relayed to me her lies. They couldn’t believe the things that Janet was saying about her husband. In nearly 23 years of marriage I can’t think of once where I disparaged my wife. Not one time ever.

There are a few people who can’t leave it behind, and continue to make life difficult for our family. I have a neighbor, Alan Volbrecht, who recently verbally accosted me in front of Douglas, scaring him. Alan also gives me “mad dog” looks whenever he see me. His wife Chris is on record writing things such as “the children need to be protected from their father whether or not he did anything to Janet” and “I will protect the kids from Ken anyway I can.” The “anonymous” call to Children’s Services accusing me of abusive behavior. This posting on my blog by an In-Law, under the pseudonym A_long_silent_witness@yahoo.com, “How do you put this last bit of pain away? Reflect on the things you did and the things you didn’t do and then pray for forgiveness. If you happen to find someone else as wonderful as Janet to share your live with, history will repeat itself unless you learn from it.”

I stayed married to a woman for 23 years out of love and devotion. If I argued then I was labeled unreasonable. If I disengaged then I was labeled as not caring. If I got upset then I was a tyrant. If I called out her behavior she denied it until our relationship was past done. I was always “wrong”, always “selfish”, and always “not caring”. For wanting to see my friends, for wanting my own life, for not wanting to deal with being insulted or emotionally abused. And the worst part was that I believed every word of it. I spent years feeling like I was an awful person, and feeling scared of her. I felt like leaving the situation would just prove that I really didn’t care/love her enough, and that would make me a bad husband, a bad father, a bad human being.

Janet would be happy that I am taking very good care of our children. They have emerged from an incredible loss. They are happy, healthy and thriving. Teachers, coaches, parents and friends all have stepped forth and helped us. Alexandra has been a rock for us. They have allowed me to deal with my wife’s death with grace and dignity. I am very grateful to these people.

I will continue to call out those who slandered and libeled me. None of them have the courage to apologize to me and my family for the hell they put us through. None of them have offered any support to my family. I’m not holding my breath waiting for them to do so. I can’t change their misperceptions. They’ll believe whatever they want to believe. For them, opinions matter more than facts.

There was more to Janet that what she projected in public. Borderline Personality Disorder is an incurable mental illness, a darkness that tore our marriage apart. Those who live with it knows what hell is like. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD as a result of living with this woman and the fallout from her passing. Truth be told, I loved that woman, but I didn’t like her for what she became.

I Have Had Enough of Anonymous Cowards

i-have-had-enough-of-anonymous-cowards

Today I was reading a story on the San Luis Obispo Tribune website about the Tour of California maybe coming to SLO next year. Good news I thought. Bike races inject tourist revenue into a town. We could use that here. I love bike racing.

I’m reading the article about the race and there is a post by stoptheinsanity. The post was insulting and derogatory. She is a prolific poster. As of this writing stoptheinsanity has posted 5,023 times! It’s all derogatory and demeaning. She’s narcissistic. Go SEE FOR YOURSELF.

Let’s flash back two years. I got a letter from the “Community Action Partnership”, an auxiliary agency. Someone placed a call as a “concerned citizen” expressing their displeasure with myself acting as a parent to my kids. It prompted an inquiry from Child Welfare Services. They quickly dismiss it and kick it down to CAP. They call me, I tell them to shove it.

Stoptheinsanity and I have a bit of history between us. In a moment of weakness I FED SOME TROLLS. Stoptheinsanity rose to the occasion and posted this about me:

“A word of caution, SLO Kenny. Anyone caught up in the circumstances that you experienced, needs to practice anger management or you’re going to find Child Protective Services on your doorstep.”

Her post was flagged as abusive and taken down by the site moderators. But the fact remains that stoptheinsanity threatened my family in in a public forum. She did it anonymously. She’s a coward.

There is a small group of people that can’t fathom that I would love my children. They are self-centered horrible people who did all things possible to make Janet’s death impossible for me to handle with decency and dignity. I have made peace with the death of my beloved wife. They haven’t.

Stoptheinsanity lives in Paso Robles. That rules out my neighbors Chris Volbrecht and Marianne Orme. Karen Veile supposedly lives in Arroyo Grande. I can’t fathom why someone has this hatred towards the McCarthy family. Who is this person? Contact me if you know about stoptheinsanity.

I Almost Threw Up…

…after watching this for the first time today. It was aired on June 12 & 13, 2010. The News Announcer clearly stated “she does have a medical history” . A reasonable person would correctly deduce that Janet died of natural causes.

Seeing how this tragedy was handled by a mere few in this small community, I wonder how they could think their slanderous gossip was “protecting” my children.

I will never forgive Cal Coast News, Karen Velie and the other demented people who made her death impossible for any decent human being to handle with decency and dignity.

RIP Janet

Chris Volbrecht Can Kiss My Ass

my-neighbors-can-kiss-my-ass

I’ve gotten a couple of disparaging comments recently on this blog. I traced the IPs. One post pointed back to an in-law.

WTF?

I don’t deserve to take this abuse. Not from in-laws. Not from neighbors. Not from people who have nothing better to do with their time but gossip on the web. Do not fuck with me anymore. I’ve had it.

November 2, 2010. I’m at the San Luis Obispo Sheriff’s Evidence Room to retrieve my possessions that were seized under warrant five months earlier. The Deputy and I load up my car. He says that’s all he’s got for me. I’m still missing my cedar chest. The one that has all my kids photo albums in it. Vacation photos. Photos of our holidays, birthdays and special occasions. I hadn’t seen it since Janet died.

I ask him if they had my chest. He goes in and calls the Detective. The Detective says they have it. Oh god, I feel relief. He instructs the Deputy to release it to me. I learned that the Detectives never opened the chest. I learned that Chris Volbrecht had the chest, and that she gave it to the Detectives, and I quote, “for safekeeping”.

Chris Volbrecht lives next door to me.

I get home and unload the car. I move the chest into my bedroom and open the lid. On the top of the stack is the photo that you see on this post. It’s from my college days. Yeah, that’s me shooting the moon. Big deal.

Chris had gone through my chest of family photos. I felt supremely violated. She invaded my privacy. And that’s not all.

Chris posted this on calcoastnews.com:

6/29/2010 at 4:17pm

…the investigation is still ongoing, while the coroner released the Body and has been flown back to Ohio for funeral services, this case is far from over and those kids are not safe if they return to the area with their father.
…Most of us while greiving (sic) over the loss of our dear friend, fear for those kids even if the father is found to have nothing to do with this.
His mental problems and verbal abuse alone have those children terrified of him.
My prayers go out to them, but we as Janet’s friends must step forward and do what we can to protect those children. Many of us have given statements to the police about what we have been told by Janet or have witnessed, so any of you out there that have knowledge about this- I urge your to report it to the lead investigator on this case. He already has many letters and statements so you will not be alone in your testimony nor will you have to fear that “he” will find out what you said and why.
Please do the right thing for these kids…please!

07/01/2010 at 9:39 pm

I am…making a plea for the childrens (sic) safety in this very sad and dangerous situation! The more of us who come forward – the better off the children will be- in this instance I don’t feel this is gossip for a blog- it is real and the children need to be protected from their father whether or not he did anything to Janet- if you knew what some of us know you would be reaching out in every way possible.

07/02/2010 at 12:50 pm

I will protect the kids from Ken anyway I can…I will stand by every word I have written here! Even if Ken was not the cause of Janets death- the kids are in danger of returning to California with their father.

Janet used to complain about Chris trimming the plants in our front yard. Janet wasn’t pleased Chris was intruding on our property. She remarked to me that Chris was a “snobbish rich bitch”. Janet was right about that.

Anonymous In-laws

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Yesterday someone messaged me anonymously.

“Perhaps if you had some faith in god your life wouldn’t be a ‘jagged mess’.”

I get a few of these “suggestions”. They’re usually a lot more ‘you did that, you’re doing stuff wrong’ than this and I wasn’t going to answer this because I don’t feed trolls. But the more it sat there the more it annoyed me. Because seriously?

My journey from darkness to happiness was a jagged mess for two reasons.

One is because I stayed in an abusive relationship for a long, long time. Recovery from that has taken a lot of time and energy.

But the bigger reason is because of the actions of a few people who have nothing better to do with their time than post defamatory comments on the internet. Several people have taken advantage of our tragedy by anonymously posting libelous comments about me on calcoastnews.com.

I know the identity of all these anonymous posters. None of them have made any attempt to apologize to me or my family. They portray themselves as exemplary Christians. They’re like little Republicans who pontificate against immoral behavior but get caught. They’re hypocrites.