I’m sitting on the back patio, and I am exhausted.
Yesterday was Savannah’s move-in day at Berkeley. The moment I anticipated since the day Savannah was born. It came and went in a flash. Not fast in the sense of the past 18 years. More like a wedding day, where you spend months planning out and when the big day arrives it blurs into a melange of breakfast / dress / limo / wedding / limo / pictures / reception / dinner / dance / cake / shots / limo / hotel madness. You never have a moment to think about what exactly it is that’s going down. Yesterday was the same sensation. One minute I’m packing up the car in the pre-dawn and the next moment it’s near midnight and I’m putting Douglas to bed. That’s when it hit me.
Truth be told, Savannah was ready to move on. She is an adult, mature and confident. It’s her job to move out of the house, to strike it out on her own. I’m very proud of Savannah. I hope she sees the world around her. I hope she experience all the beauty this world contains. I hope Savannah find what she loves, at her work and with herself and with someone special. But the natural progression of children moving on still hurts. Because your children are running around out there carrying a bit of your heart with them.
This photo Alexandra took is analogous of what’s going on in our lives. Savannah emerging into the sunlight and I, transitioning into the background.
I’m looking forward to the days Courtney and Douglas go off to school. That’s when I know I’ve done my job.